Saturday, May 31, 2008

Poems.

1

In front of the window that cannot be closed,
I sit on my creaking chair underneath the leaky ceiling—[What a sieve of a sealing!].
I pick up my pen in dreadful apprehension
Of the words that might flow from its ink.—[Thou art me, mine inky inkling!].
{Outside: The clouds, in one thunderous finale
Blast into infinite smithereens of bulbous droplets—[drop in, plop in, keep it comin’...]}


“Ah, afflicted apostate!
Cover thy paper, strike off what is trite!
And Behold beauty’s bounteous buff-et!”
The clouds giggling thunderously, — “O Hear-Hear!”
The overshadowed Sun, pouting — “O Here-Here!”
The swarthy trees with darkening barks, bathing — “O Dear-Dear!”
The incense from Earth’s soiled armpits maddening a sordid soul— “O Fear-Fear!


Nudged by the wind below, it caresses my elbow—
The blank sheet: virgin, unfulfilled, restless.
["I need writing in massive doses"]
I try to look away into the whiteness below,
But the rain has stopped, and the window never closes!
[My penned up love remains ever faithless! ]
{Outside: the clouds part, the sun glows, the trees glisten,

The earth shifts, the pores open, the seed sprouts, the apple tree grows, and nature poses.}

2

We are two swans, my friend,
Painted on two different canvases;
Riding the belligerent billows,
On this eternally perturbed lake of life.
Silently as we watch in our loneliness,
The ripples of strife between time and man,
We feel life heave and then sigh beneath us,
And we are caught in it for an eternity’s span.
Yet, as we wave good-by to the passing ripples,
We remain where we are—never together,
You, trapped inside your painting,
And me, trapped inside mine.

5 comments:

pratyu said...

The first poem is brilliant! Although i took time to (or not to) understand the essense of the poem and what exactly you were trying to do, the words you chose and the manner you chose to use them, makes me want to cry for joy! I cannot say the same of the first.. it sounds a bit familiar.. the theme i mean.
Although every line is brilliant, it is impossible to not to mention these lines after having read the poem..

The clouds giggling thunderously, — “O Hear-Hear!”
The overshadowed Sun, pouting — “O Here-Here!”
The swarthy trees with darkening barks, bathing — “O Dear-Dear!”
The incense from Earth’s soiled armpits maddening a sordid soul— “O Fear-Fear!”
(Brilliant, that's the only word i have for these lines)

The blank sheet: virgin, unfulfilled, restless
(He he, you put in words what an empty book meant to me)

Nature poses.
(Personification. Simply superb.)

And in the second poem:

We feel life heave and then sigh beneath us.
(This is typical Unni. The best line of the poem if you ask me. Good.)

srix said...

The second poem is short and sweet and also effective.
The first one is not so good as the second. I guess you are describing the frustrating experience of writing an exam when nature is in her full glory. I felt some phrases to be oxymoronic like "giggling thunderoulsy" which I cannot picture adequately. Also I prefer "Nature reposes" to "the nature poses". Also what is "sieve of a seiling" ?

Overall, very good especially considering the fact that bth poems are remarkably readable in contrast to some of your previous efforts. Keep on the good work.
Srix

Marlin Jar said...

I beg to differ with Miss P.
I would ascribe the adjective 'brilliant' to the first stanza. And the poem as a whole was a rewarding experience: like I said in my sms, you excel yourself!

The second one was... quaint. :) Slightly scary too.
Liked the finishing lines.

unni krishnan said...

P,
Thanks.

S,
I was attempting to say that nature after it had rained, posed, like a model for this poem. Nature reposes, is a good phrase, but not what I intended and actually if I remember correctly used by Kazantzakis in one of his books.
Thank you, I am glad to have been able to be readable.

N,
Thanks.
"the nature" was a typo which I had noticed as soon as i had uploaded, but I procrastinated the correction for reasons I cannot quite remember exactly.
Though, I am slightly interested to know in what way was the first poem rewarding?

Marlin Jar said...

You are turning me into J Evans Pritchard, PhD :( [Surely you've watched Dead Poets Society?]

Creative choice and collocation of words, un-far-fetched rhymers and good imagery.